tardisity: The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
best-of-funny: mermaidsandmisandry: things i dont need in my life: wasps those stringy things on the banana commercials on youtube X
to do list:
lexlosing-it: 1) stuff 2) things
aaaaaaaaand im realizing that i shouldnt have come back until i watched the supernatural season finale haha
guys…i havent been able to come on here in exactly 2 weeks, but im officially back. it feels like im completely starting over since i know i will never get to see those 2 weeks of my dash :/
sluttyoliveoil: started from the bottom now we here
annawintour: shoutout to those three followers who like and reblog literally everything you post
arewebothcrazy: desterysmith: when i say shotgun you say wedding shotgun FARM GO MEAT
rybroskeez: cockringtoss: why isn’t a group of kangaroos called a kangacrew
poopinginschool: interviewer: any special talents? me:
oomshi: If spiders could fly I would live in a giant hamster ball
souflegirlandchinboy: you know the friendship’s real when there’s a rumour you’re gay for each other
jazuthewasianprincess: olgg: If I was a famous actor and had a horde of fangirls, I would stay single, and every time an interviewer asked me about my love life, I’d answer that “there’s this one girl I saw at a meeting with fans. I don’t know her name, because of all the fuss with the autographs, and I have only seen her once, but I’m in love with her.” I’d say that, looking all sad and...
some bitch: omg you wore that shirt the other day
me: yeah well in my house we have this amazing thing called a washing machine
poopflow: blackandwiteroses: poopflow: men are from mars women are from venus damn im horny someone hop on this penis awesome dude! men are from the inland women are from the coast holy shit your comment sucks get the fuck off of my post
oohtheyhavenibbles: I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT GLOSTER CANARIES AND I’M GONNA CRY LOOKIT THEM THEY HAVE BOWLCUTS BOWLCUTS LOOK AT THAT SMUG LITTLE FUCKER WITH HIS FUCKING BOWLCUT
tuucker: irisowl: So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized Dr. Robert Evans I looked it up My dentist is Captain America’s dad My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband. JK...
biologytextbook: *presses clear button on calculator 12 times*
nicolex69: lady-tyrell: i want the last episode of supernatural to be happy and them all alive and driving into the sunset in the impala and it fades to black and then you just hear dean go “oh fuck we forgot about adam”